The Inner Temple To The Left
My initial journey to the Inner Left Temple was inspired from fashion and the interest in the Goth/Industrial culture. I was positive that this journey would inspire Sex, Drugs, and Goth n Roll on a wild journey. What I found instead was something completely different. As I began to follow this path, the first steps was based on Death Culture. Not in the sense that I was expecting, but in a very isolated, regressed, and anxiety filled experience that pushed my limits more than I was comfortable with. For the last two years, I walked everyday with intense feelings of dread and emptiness. Not to sound over dramatic, but I felt as if death was at my door each and every day. I became fascinated with death and all of its ugliness and even made peace with. When I felt I hit rock bottom, I found a new sense of self and a connection with the black goddess Kali like I never have before. Looking back at my Inner Temple experience, I was finding a deeper foundation to magick and letting go of the goth culture image I wanted it to be. In short, I found the real experience behind the facade. I healed old scars, faced my anxiety disorder, and focused on a deep level of physical and mental healing. What a fucking journey! Right now, I am writing this in a gypsy coffee shop in downtown Denver feeling a need just to get this off my chest. I feel like a survivor of an invisible war, a solider that came out the other side as something better than I could ever imagine. If I had it to do over again, I would love to have the peace, love and happiness that most feel. But for me, the only way I could see the light was to be in the dark. I guess the dark is my home, it’s the only place I can truly see my light shine.