After a few rants and raves, I’ve given some time to begin my journey of coming out of the broom closet and finally start the 2nd degree. This may not seem like a big deal because I’ve been a pagan for as long as I can remember, but never a public pagan. You know what, lets not use pagan, lets use the “w” word, I’m a witch. There it is, I’m a witch and making it known publicly. I’m usually scarred to admit this because
it’s usually followed by some Wizard Of Oz joke or a Harry Potter reference. I’ve always used softeners like Pagan, Goth, New Age,Gypsy, but internally preferred to use witch in secret. Everyone has a coming out of a closet story and I guess it’s my turn. Lately I’ve been faced with a now or never polarity. I want to begin living as a witch with music, life, love, the whole package. But in order to move past the perpetual initiate and stop making passive aggressive remarks or using softeners it’s time to come clean. Let’s face it, after hundreds of years of persecution and now living in a scientific era, it can be intimidating to come out. My ultimate goal in all of this is to finally merge my two identities (Inner and Outer) into one person. No I don’t have multiple identities, lets just say when I’m out in “the real world” I still don’t feel comfortable in my skin. So as a commitment to face my fear and come out of the broom closet, I’m going to blog about my Book of Shadows, Spells, Psychic Journeys, Spirit Guides, and even some of my Personal Mythology. If it a while between blog posts it’s because I’ve lost my nerve. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. So.. CHEERS! I raise up my Rum and Cherry Coke and toast to coming out and calling myself a….wait for it….WITCH!
For most occultists, they want to be a part of a secret society and to be trained and programed into an occult master. For me, this was the intent of my Rosicrucian adventure. Today, I am torn by this affiliation due to the lack of respect for free thought by many Rosicrucians while others demand the freedom to challenge, rearrange, and de-program the old methods of the past. Traditional occult versus the futurist occult, I guess you can tell by the title which one I am. This isn’t a formal movement and you won’t see a futurist occult term in any book, it’s a term I use to challenge the ideas of others in the secret circles of traditional orders. I say, flip the cross upside down and take the lessons away from the privileged and give it to the blank generation to open the temples of their own mind, not an outdated lodge from the turn of the century. My greatest wish is to take the lessons presented in the privileged lodges and give them to a new generation to use in a digital dystopian world. The goal of this magick isn’t to raise energy in a secret room but as a tool for the individual visionary to find themselves and break the molds of a useless past. These students won’t be found in temples and lodges but in black plastic rooms full of televisions striking out at a dehumanizing world of digital dreams and low level expectations. These are the lessons of Jesus as a cyberpunk nailing the romans to a cross taking back the book thats been changed for the worst and bringing it back to its original form, the freedom of the individual. I say, flip the cross around and lets look at the other side of the lodge, the path of individual thought, not the path of service.
There comes a time in every pagans journey where you hit a major wall. Guess what, this is where I am. The books out there are flooded with Witchcraft 101 and High Magick with nothing in between. Being stuck here can be frustrating to say the least, on one hand I have a good idea of where I want to go but finding the language and specific tradition can be challenging. For me, this is what the second degree is all about. When you begin, there are tons of help out there to get you started on your path and can be exciting! Then, you begin to realize that not all pagans are the same. They can range from the legalistic pagan nazi that feels their tradition is the only way to the tofu-hippie-crystal-warriors dancing frantically under the moon. If you try to discover black magick, you get the Crowley wanna be’s vomiting spells and bad poetry to prove to you how dark and evil they are despite the fact they drive a mini van. In short, the pagan community is full of fascinating people and just as many followers who just ended a full day of LARPing and call it magick. So where does an intermediate student go? F*ck if I know, but here is where I started.
Leaving an informal first-degree program, I was left with pieces of what I want and tons of sh*t I don’t want. The pieces I wanted to keep ranged from finding a patron goddess to a vague culture I want to incorporate. Then when I got past all the legalistic witches and freedom of the people I just made fun of, I realized, wait a second, this is the degree where you create your own religion. So that’s what I did, made a cult of me. This is the main thesis of the second degree as far as I’m concerned.
This is the degree where I can take the pieces of a broken journey and build the master piece of my personal occult journey. Taking the foundation of the overview I’ve been working on for what feels like a lifetime, it’s time to connect the dots. This will be my 2nd degree journey which I can assure you will last far longer than 1year and 1 day, the usual length of a degree. This will be a diary of personal discovery and hopefully a template for others to do the same, to make the cult of [your name here]. So to all my friends out there in Blogland, I finally found my voice and purpose for Fallen Furies, welcome to the religion and cult of me, Ed@n. The journey of a witch in their 2nd degree study.
The theories of magick can be diverse and mean something different to each and every one of us. For me, there are two distinctions when thinking and dealing with magick, receiving psychic energy and performing magick. When using intuition concerning magick, there are levels of communication within yourself to consider. The first is the idea of being psychic or empathetic to others around you and the second is being aware of your thoughts, wishes and desires. When I use the term psychic, what I’m referring to isn’t reading a crystal ball and predicting the future to amaze your friends at the carnival, I’m referring to the thoughts and ideas of others on a metaphysical level. This can also be seen the ability to become empathetic and internalize their energy to feel a stronger connection. This is equivalent to listening to subtle energies and becoming aware of the influence of others.
When dealing with magick, this is the act of focusing on your wants and desires and the changes needed to make that happen. Psychic ideas are listening to the energies around you and magick would be speaking your wishes and send them out to the gods and goddesses. Many times, people who are drawn to the occult tend to be very empathetic and psychically tuned to receive others negative/positive energy and confuse the impressions they receive as their own. In an attempt to repeal this energy, they will create or do magick to solve the problem received to them. The result is the occultist will begin doing magick and the work for others by becoming a vessel. In everyday life, this is when we place our focus on the needs of others and ignore or reject our own personal goals and visions. By becoming so involved in the needs of others, the true art of magick is ignored and our energy is used to benefit everyone else but ourselves.
In an attempt to gain control of my art and occult practices, I try to distinguish the difference between empathetic feelings and my genuine feelings. Before any magick, it is extremely important for me to clear all the influences of others before I begin any occult practice. This can be done by returning the unwanted energy to its rightful owner or visualizing a shielding or protection before any meditation or ritual work. Once I find the balance needed and the expulsion of others, only then will I begin any acts of magick. By giving myself protection, focus, and a stronger will, I can avoid the confusing the wants and needs of others and focus on the task at hand, what I want to accomplish with my occult practice. You can start by returning any unwanted energies to their rightful source and create levels of protection before beginning any form of meditation and magick.