Just days before my surgery, I’m 2 parts excited and 2 parts nervous. In 2 days I’ll get Facial Feminization Surgery and will have a completely new feminized appearance. Another big step in my transition.
Becoming free ❤️
What Is Transgender? Part 1: Gender Dysphoria: My Journey
As a member of the Transgender community, I feel it is my duty to help fill the void that is out there on what exactly is Transgender. This subject in itself could be a full book, but I wanted to lend some insight and make a quick read help elevate misconceptions and present correct terminology. Let’s start with Part 1 of this series: Gender Dysphoria.
noun: gender dysphoria
One the condition of feeling one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological sex.
Gender Dysphoria is not very common, so information on this subject is hard to find.
In fact, most people have never even heard of it. Individuals with this condition identify or framed their gender identity with those of the opposite sex. For me, I never knew the term existed until my adult years. When looking back on my teenage years, I would try anything and everything to help relieve the feelings of gender dysphoria. This feminization included nail polish, make-up, cross-dressing, and grooming. I carried these habits into my adult years until the anxiety of the dysphoria just got too difficult for me to handle. These shortcuts only made my desire greater to transition. At the time, I just chalked it under a generalized anxiety disorder, not knowing that gender dysphoria was a diagnosis of its own. The disconnect between my gender identity and gender presentation continued until I raised the white flag and called it was it was: Gender Identity Disorder or Gender Dysphoria.
By understanding the depths of this disorder and knowing that feminization wasn’t enough, I began to research Transgender and Transexual to help bring language to what I was experiencing. Starting with the idea of gender dysphoria helped me get proper perspective the on the subject and direct me to the help I needed to transition.
If you have feelings of:
Consistent feeling of being in the wrong body
Wanting to dress and act like those of the opposite sex
A sense of anxiety with your body not feeling or looking right
A preoccupation of wanting to get rid of primary and secondary sex characteristics.
If this disorder remains untreated, it can lead to:
Low Self Esteem
Poor body Image
I feel it is a crucial step to understanding the first phase of being transgender is professionally diagnose yourself with Gender Dysphoria first. It can’t recommend reaching out to trained counselors and professional enough and explore your feelings of gender identity and gender presentation if you feel unsure or stuck in your transgender journey. For me, my therapist saved my life by saying that I wasn’t alone, and there was a cause for my anxiety. This Getting language and a diagnosis were my first step of a very long and beautiful journey. I believe that having language for what you’re going through helps you understand it better and able to communicate the help you need.
What experience have you had with Gender Dysphoria? Write them in the comments below or send me a message. I’d love to hear from you lovelies 💋
Here is a great resource if you want to learn more:
Gender Dysphoria: Understanding the Symptoms and Treating Gender Dysphoria Kindle Edition
by Michelle Serena (Author)
Gender Dysphoria Understanding Symptoms
Talk To The Air:
Here we are again my friend
Walking the road of timeless sin
We are married to shattered dreams
A crack in the sky
The kind that makes loved ones cry
and our own heart scream
To finally break free from your soul,
But now where shall we go?
From loving an empty emotion without a goal
A contradiction, an empty kiss
Loneliness calls you her friend,
Then takes you by the hand
Turns you into a woman
Lose yourself in the evening sky
Love yourself in the rain
Change your gender, change your name
You will never be the same
A male memory
Talk to the air,
She’ll always listen
She’ll always care
Even when you feel
Like you’re going nowhere
I want you to break away from the old, create a new
But tonight my love, it’s all up to you
Here I am, a little over a year of HRT. I’m feeling like thing are changing and I’m getting closer and closer to being my true gender 🙂
When practicing magic with a darker intention, you have to know yourself! There is no way around this. Many witches a drawn to the left hand path for the excuse to become evil or run wild without any consequences. There could be nothing further from the truth. When you practice magic without moral judgements and the ability to use black and/or white magic, the responsibility for your actions increase. If it’s one thing I’ve learned in exploring the dark, every action has a reaction. Even something as simple as a love spell can cause a chain reaction where the final outcome is nothing close to what I had in mind. The black magician must have a very clear intention and good reason to study the craft and use magic in their everyday life. Most of my magick is focused on self improvement and self transformation. As tempting as it is to do money spells, love spells, and curses, I know as soon as I involved other people the outcome could get messy. My focus has always been on self improvement when it came to black magick and any spell I plan to do, both positive and negative. I use myself as a test subject before involving anyone else or doing spells where the desired outcome will affect other people. Many times, if I’m feeling the need to curse, manifest love or money, or any other types of spell work, there usually is a deeper need. It’s so easy to blame others for my lack of success that I like to keep myself in check by doing spell-work on my own problems before I attack another. I think of Black Magick like martial arts, just because you know how to fight, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing to do. This type of self discipline is needed when using black magick. If I had to give the beginning magician one piece of advise, it would be to use magick for yourself and never involve other people unless it is an absolute must. You could end up hurting yourself and others, even when you’re trying to help.